So what sets emotionally intelligent people apart? Here are seven habits that people with high EI have:
While not ignoring the bad news, emotionally intelligent people have made a conscious decision to not spend a lot of time and energy focusing on problems. Rather, they look at what is positive in a situation and look for solutions to a problem. These people focus on what they are able to do and that which is within their control.
People with a lot of emotional intelligence don’t spend a lot of time listening to complainers and tend to avoid negative people. They are aware negative people are an energy drain and are not willing to let others exhaust their vitality. Because they always look for solutions and the positive in situations, negative people quickly learn to avoid positive people as misery loves company.
Emotionally intelligent people spend time with others that are positive and look upon the bright side of life. You can spot these folks as they tend to smile and laugh a great deal and attract other positive people. Their warmth, openness, and caring attitude leads others look upon them as more trustworthy.
Although their friendly, open nature may make them appear as pushovers to some, people with high EI are able to set boundaries and assert themselves when needed. They demonstrate politeness and consideration but stay firm at the same time.
They do not make needless enemies. Their response to situations, in which there may be conflict, is measured, not inflated, and managed appropriately to the situation. They think before speaking and give themselves time to calm down if their emotions appear to become overwhelming. High EI people guard their time and commitments and know when they need to say no.
People with high EI are too busy thinking of possibilities in the future to spend a lot of time dwelling upon things that didn’t work out in the past. They take the learning from their past failures and apply it to their actions in the future. They never see failure as permanent or a personal reflection of themselves.
Whether it is in their workplace, at home, or with friends, high EI people know what makes them happy and look for opportunities to expand the enjoyment. They receive pleasure and satisfaction from seeing others happy and fulfilled, and do whatever they can to brighten someone else’s day.
While these enlightened people are good at moving on from the past when things didn’t work out as expected, they are also able to move on from conflicts involved with others. High EI folks don’t hold on to anger over how others have treated them, rather use the incident to create awareness of how to not let it happen again. “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me,” is their motto. While they move on and forgive, they don’t forget and are unlikely to be taken advantage of again in the same set of circumstances.
Highly emotionally intelligent people are lifelong learners, constantly growing, evolving, open to new ideas, and always willing to learn from others. Being critical thinkers, they are open to changing their minds if someone presents an idea that is a better fit. While they are open to ideas from others, and continuously gathering new information, they ultimately trust themselves and their own judgment to make the best decision for themselves.
Me at this time last year.. wow, the end of 1L
I love this “conscious uncoupling” statement. What a nice way of delivering one of the hardest things that couples and their children have to experience.
Taken from the article on this website: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-haisha/what-we-can-all-learn-abo_b_5079043.html by Lisa Haisha
“In short, conscious uncoupling offers a positive and much-needed spin to the dissolution of a relationship. In my discussions with clients, they are aware, especially when children are involved, that once you marry someone you marry them for life, even if you are separated. Because of this, it’s in both party’s best interest to make peace with each other, and most especially with themselves. Conscious uncoupling is a process that invokes the couple to focus on their own healing and well-being, which in turn allows them to come to terms with their soon-to-be-ex, and their relationship.
In an era where divorce is more common than successful marriages, relationships should have an opportunity to end gracefully and with mutual respect.
A SoulBlazer’s Approach to Conscious Uncoupling
When I work with clients through a conscious uncoupling, we begin by helping each person acknowledge their dominant impostor personality. We all have an impostor or two (or three) that controls us. The impostor personality consists of the fears, old beliefs, and habits that prevent people from achieving their highest personal and professional success. I’ve identified eight distinct Impostor personalities that impede on relationships and prevent people from reaching their true potential for happiness, success, and fulfillment.
With the impostor(s) identified, we can move into the actual conscious uncoupling process, which involves helping the two people communicate with an open heart and be as respectful as possible to each other, especially when children are in the picture. It’s about respecting not only the other person, but also the relationship that was, as well as the relationship that will remain in the future.
Remember, just because a couple separates, their past relationship still exists. It doesn’t disappear. With conscious uncoupling, you’re respecting the love you previously shared with someone while honoring the friendship you will have with them in the future, all while ensuring that the children continue to feel safe and loved. In the process, your social circle remains intact and each individual in the relationship takes care of their own emotional needs in a healthy and positive manner. What can possibly be controversial about that?
Also realize that words have meaning, especially for children. If you’re a child of divorce, you know the shame that comes with communicating to your friends that your parents are getting “divorced” or “separated.” Conscious uncoupling allows parents to ease their children into the change that lies before them as the adults are altering the way they relate to each other. Conscious uncoupling is a terrific tool that promotes a sense of stability in a time of potential upheaval.”